Planning Your Wedding from Afar

Maybe you’re planning a true destination wedding, or you’re planning a wedding at “home” from your current location. Whatever the situation is, it can feel daunting to plan your wedding when you can’t be there in person. As a wedding planner who has worked on both the east and west coasts, I’ve worked with many couples who were not in the physical location, sometimes not seeing their venue at all until the wedding day. I planned my own wedding from across the country too! All that to say, I know a thing or two about long-distance wedding planning. Read on for a list of everything you can do to make your destination wedding planning easier.

Hire a Wedding Planner Early

Make a decision early on if you are going to work with a wedding planner. A common misconception is that couple’s can’t afford a wedding planner. While that is certainly the case for some people, often planners are actually able to save you money by connecting you with vendors that really work with your budget and can execute your vision. Deciding this early will help for a few reasons. First, you’ll avoid a lot of stress and hours of searching for vendors on your own. Sometimes it can feel like wading through an endless sea of options and can become confusing. Second, a planner might have some suggestions you hadn’t seen or thought of and then you won’t be stuck with a contract you can’t get out of.

Venue Should be Your First Priority

I always tell couples that they should pick a venue before anything else. It really sets the stage for the rest of wedding planning. For example, why start combing through caterers if you may end up choosing a venue with in-house catering or a short list of exclusive caterers? I am a big fan of avoiding extra work when it’s not necessary. Another advantage to having your venue selected ahead of travel is your other vendors will know what they’re working with and can base information they give you off of that. If you have a wedding planner or a family member who is able to go on your behalf, you can do site visits via FaceTime. If you’re planning yourself, finding a venue that handles the catering in-house will make your life much simpler. That’s one less vendor you’ll have to communicate with leading up to the big day.

Scheduling Travel

If it’s possible, schedule one trip to your location before your wedding day. You should have a clear itinerary for the days you’re in town and get as much done as possible. If you haven’t pre-booked your venue, you should plan for site visits at your top 3-5 venues. Any more than that, I’ve found that people have a hard time choosing. If you have selected your venue, set up a meeting with the venue manager and do a walkthrough so you can get a lay of the land.

Another major piece of your trip should be catering focused. As a general rule, caterers don’t typically set up tastings unless you’ve signed a contract. Of course every caterer is different and some do just charge a fee if you aren’t ready to sign yet. If you’re thinking of going through a restaurant that caters, you can make a reservation to dine there and sample some of their items that. You won’t be able to taste every single item, but caterers are always open to making tweaks if there’s something you didn’t like.

During your trip you can also make an appointment for a hair and makeup trial. This is not mandatory, but in my experience, brides feel more at ease having done this beforehand.

Take Advantage of Video Calls

If you aren’t able to meet with some of your vendors in person, ask to set up a Skype or FaceTime call! It’s becoming more common to do this and it definitely makes a different when you’re able to put a face to the name.

Ask Lots of Questions

If you feel that you’re bothering a vendor, I’m here to tell you that you’re not. It’s important that you feel 100% confident in the vendors you hire for your day. Most people have never planned a wedding before and simply don’t know how to navigate a lot of the logistics. It’s ok to ask clarifying questions. Any vendor that genuinely wants to work with you will be happy to share their knowledge.

Trust Your Vendors

Once you hire a vendor, take their advice to heart. Photographers will make suggestions about the order of your pictures, florists will tell you types of flowers that work best in your season and of course a wedding planner will offer thoughts on the flow of the day.

Book Your Accommodations Well in Advance

Figure out what type of accommodations will work best for you and get that out of the way. If you’ll need space to put together welcome bags or some DIY decor, an airbnb might give you more room. Otherwise, a hotel room in the same place as the rest of your wedding guests may be more enjoyable. You’ll come back to a clean room every day and will also have a bit more privacy.

If your wedding is destination for everyone (more than a 2 hour drive from home) set up accommodations for your guests as well. Organize 1-2 room blocks, and make a list of suggested airbnbs close to the venue. This will be very helpful when it’s time to deal with transportation.

Plan Out Deliveries

Make a plan to handle deliveries as your wedding date approaches. It’s inevitable that you’ll be placing some online orders and you’ll need to know where you can send them. Talk with your venue to see if they’ll accept deliveries on your behalf. If your wedding is driving distance from family, send it to them and ask them to organize and consolidate items.

Call Your Airline

It’s not a given that you’ll be able to fly with your dress and suit! Airlines have a limited amount of hanging space and if they don’t know ahead of time, you may run into a sticky situation. Call ahead and notify them that you’re getting married and will have delicate clothing—99% of the time they’ll help you out.

Give Yourself Enough Time Before the Wedding

If your schedule allows, give yourself at least three days in your destination before the wedding, but a week is going to be more relaxing. Aside from just avoiding potential travel-related issues, the more days you have, the less you’ll have to deal with a jam-packed schedule of last minute to do items (like mani-pedis and sorting decor).

If you’re planning your out of state NY wedding and want support, reach out to me!