Change of Wedding Plans: Going Small

We’re in the midst of this pandemic and it seems clear now that weddings might look a little different for the rest of 2020. That does not mean that weddings are cancelled. It just means that we may be shifting from bigger blowouts to more intimate gatherings. For some of you, this may be what you always wanted. For others, it might be harder to know how to downsize. Wherever you’re at in your planning process, the most important thing to know when it comes to weddings is there are no rules. Just because you have a small wedding now and get legally married, doesn’t mean you can’t have another celebration down the road.

Here’s how you can navigate planning your intimate wedding.

Downsizing Your Guest List

While none of us know what the rules and restrictions will be for the rest of the year, my recommendation would be to make a list of a maximum of 50 guests, and then another with just 20 guests. Start with your absolute must-have, can’t-live-without-them people (immediate family, maid of honor, best man). From there, add your close relatives and friends. Typically, couples invite more guests than they know will actually come. Because of the unusual circumstances and the fact that this smaller list is only supposed to be your very top tier, I’d recommend skipping this part. Assume everyone you invite will be there. I know it might feel hard to “cut” people from your list, I’ve found that during this unprecedented time, people are generally understanding and supportive. At the end of the day, your wedding is about your love.

If You’re Partially Planned, Reach Out to Your Vendors

Ideally, all venues and vendors are following the CDC guidelines. Let’s assume in the next few months that small gatherings are allowed (whether that is with social distancing or not). If you were booked in a bigger venue, is there an area that might be more conducive to an intimate gathering? Now that you have fewer people, maybe your caterer would recommend a different style of service that would still be budget-appropriate. There are countless ways to make a space feel cozier so rely on the professionals you hired to brainstorm with you!

If you haven’t started planning, consider venues that are specifically suited to intimate weddings. Talk to them about what their cancellation policies are. There might be more restrictions in some of the hardest hit cities (like New York) for quite some time, so be open to places outside of the city. The bonus there is there will likely be more space to socially distance if needed.

Consider Weekdays

As things start to normalize, venues and vendors may have very few weekends available due to postponements. If you know your core group will show up no matter what day, a weekday could be

Make a Decision About the Legal Part

For some people, getting legally married (meaning you’re signing the marriage license with a certified officiant) on the original date is super important. If that’s the case, make sure you do your research on getting your marriage license as soon as possible. In New York, you’re now able to get your marriage license online. The license is only valid for 21 days so you’ll have to plan accordingly.

Have a Communication Plan

Whether you’re postponing your larger wedding or simply letting people know this is the direction you’ve decided to go, you’ll want to make sure all the important people are in the loop. You can use your announcement to send a link to a livestream of your ceremony if you want to include people that way. You don’t have to have a specific date in mind yet, to let people know you’re postponing. Just share the details you do have and tell them to be on the lookout for more information.

Make a Trip Out of It

Though bigger plans including honeymoons might be on hold, you can still make your celebration feel extra special. Consider a short little getaway, even if you’re getting married at home. Book a hotel room, plan a few activities and of course, pop some champagne!

Many wedding vendors are adapting with the times and creating new offerings to support those who are downsizing. If you’re interested in an all-inclusive celebration in New York, you can learn more about my Tiny Wedding package here.